The Talk

Brought to you by Stephanie   Years ago my husband and I were sitting in a church Sunday School class when the topic came up of how to teach kids about human intimacy (that means SEX).  One man said the best way to go about it was to take your kids to a farm and let them watch the animals.  A woman said that it was important to let them know how wonderful it all is.  They felt it necessary to keep repeating themselves:   “Take them to a farm!”   “It’s sooooo  wonnnderfull.”   “Take them to a farm!”   “It’s soooo wonnderfull.”   And on and on.  I am not kidding.   Hands down, it was the absolute strangest church meeting I’ve attended, and sadly one of the most memorable.  My husband and I still say we should have tapped the lady on the shoulder and asked her for pointers.   Not too long after that, it was time for us to being educating our own offspring about the Facts of Life.  I was pregnant with our twins, and the very natural question occurred to our oldest daughter, who was seven: So how did those babies get in there, anyway?   I was determined not to make the same mistakes my parents made, which were telling me too young, not giving enough information, and acting like it was the most painfully embarrassing, dirty secret out there.   We’re a little short on farms, so that was not an option.  And even without cable t.v., we figure our kids are going to figure out just how wonderful the birds and the bees can be.  We decided a straightforward, factual discussion was the best route.   We came prepared with pencil and paper to draw a few sketches of female anatomy (I have since purchased a book that serves this purpose) and we simply told her what happens.  We (and by that I mean ME because my husband was too embarrassed to say anything) explained the mechanics of the whole thing, including touching and the act of intercourse, how mommies’ and daddys’ bodies work to produce special cells, and how that results in a baby.   I would like to think I was thorough without overloading her with information and also conveyed a This-Is-Completely-Natural attitude.  I don’t think I said it was wonderful, but I tried to point out that moms and dads did this because it felt good and it helps them feel close to each other.   What I did not realize was how un-memorable I must have made the whole thing, because she asked me about a year later how babies are made.  She seriously did not remember a thing about our first discussion except that we’d had it.  I can, apparently, make sex boring.   I went over the mechanics again, and also threw in more detailed discussion of puberty, menstruation, etc.  That part was not new – I have always wanted my girls to understand that growing up is normal and that their little girl bodies are not intended to stay little girl bodies.  I have yet to be reconciled to my slender and firm 21-year-old body morphing into a saggy 36-year-old mother-of-five body, but that is another topic for another day.   Another year, and I was pregnant again.  The first words out of Kira’s mouth were, “Whoa, you guys had sex?!?”  I guess she thought only other mommies and daddys did that.  I now realize that teaching children about intimacy, puberty and the more delicate workings of the human body is a process.  We’re not going to have one Talk and be done with the subject, and I’m going to have to go over it and over it and over it.    Last week I started the process with my second daughter, Lizzy.   We had long wondered why she, unlike her big sister, never seemed curious about where babies come from, but finally decided it was time to unload the facts on her anyway.  My husband, not wanting to have to sit through another description of What Mom and Dad Do After You Go to Bed, suggested I talk to Lizzy while he and Kira were both gone for the week.   It went like this:   I put it off.   Then one night Hallie and Sophia were talking about how they grew together in my tummy.  They love this topic because they love that they’ve always been together.  Hallie finished the discussion with, “How did we get in your tummy, Mommy?”   Lizzy replied, “Didn’t you pray to Heavenly Father for a baby and then they started growing there?”   Wow, wouldn’t that be a different world?  The atheists would have died out real fast and infertility would be nonexistent   “No, Lizzy, I think we need to talk about that.”   And so I did, right there at the dinner table.  Naturally Hallie, Sophia and Scarlett were done eating long before we got to ovulation.  They ran around like the hooligans they are and Lizzy protested like the opinionated mini-grownup she is.   “That’s disgusting!”   “Please keep thinking that for another 15 years, okay?”   I think it went well except for the interference of my three little ones.  Hallie, anxious about our missing family members, was having potty accidents, and Scarlett needed her usual 7pm bath.  I was running around mopping up messes and placating the baby while chasing Lizzy with the “All About Your Body” or whatever the name of that book is.   “Lizzy, let me show you this picture of a uterus.” “No!  I don’t want to see it!”   Being older than Kira was when we first talked to her, Liz had more questions, like do couples have a baby every time they have sex?  This required a brief overview of birth control, and all told I think she got a fairly thorough overview of the entire subject.  I do wish, however, that I had waited until my three youngest girls were asleep before beginning the discussion.   I did, I want you to know, include the admonition that sex is meant for married couples.  I talked to both of them about chastity and the consequences of immorality.  I went lightly over that topic, though. I figure that first, it’s important for kids to know what “it” is when you tell them to not do “it.”   For now we mostly talk about modesty, and how inappropriate it is for kids their age to “go out” or date (which happens disturbingly often).    I am fully prepared to talk their ears off in the coming years about why I feel so strongly about abstinence before marriage, and how exactly to make that happen (or would that be not happen?).  They are going to have a very thorough understanding that teenage boys DO NOT think the same way about romance that teenage girls do.   I can’t know right now if I’ve done my job right.  In 20 years, if none of them became mothers at 14, I suppose I will declare Sex Education by Stephanie a success.  It not, I will know that I should have taken them to a farm.  Although I think they’ll figure out on their own that sex is wonnnderfulll.

My Last Blog Post About a Certain Company

Well, we finally received a confirmation that we will acquire our money back from the travel company that I have previously blogged about. As apart of getting our money back, Michael had to sign an agreement that he (the parties) would not defame, bad-mouth, defile neither the company or the process we went through for the return of our money on any website or blog. 2 things- my name was not on the paper and I was not required to sign it so I feel that since I wasn't the sign-ee that I'm still free to discuss the matter and since I did most of my blogging on this matter before Michael signed the paper that I am free to share with you the end result. But, I will keep it safe and not discuss details or tell you my true personal feelings about this certain company (but I'm pretty sure you all know how I feel!).


We're getting our money back and I'm just happy to have the whole situation over with. I really wish I could, in detail, tell you the whole process but I don't want to get me, or Michael, into any legal trouble. Just know that after the anger and hurt passed I realized I had better uses for my time than getting all worked up about a company. We had an amazing time and some unforgettable memories we all share as a family and that's what I'm going to remember. The rest will fade into the background as a side thought. "Oh yeah, there was that thing with THAT company. But remember when Abbie met Cinderella, that was priceless!"

Have you ever looked back on a situation and could pinpoint the exact moment that if you or someone else (or a company) did just one thing different, changed one thing, said something else that the whole situation would have concluded differently? That's what I think about every time I look back on this whole experience. It all could have been sooooo different, you know what I mean?

Bookit.com Refund Update

Picking up where we left off: 
We faxed in a copy of the receipts for the passes we had to buy while in Orlando per the supervisor's request on May 27th. She then called me and informed me that we would have to call Disney and get a reimbursement from them. I told her that she had been given wrong information because Disney was not at fault. Disney had informed me that bookit.com owned the park hopper passes and that we bought them from bookit.com. After bookit.com received the passes from Disney, Disney had no presence in the situation. The supervisor then said, "no, no, this is what I was told from the guy who actually deals with Disney." I shrugged my shoulders and told her we could try, but I knew it's wasn't going to work. So we set up a time for the next day when we could confrence call Disney. So, on the 28th, she called me and tried to conference call Disney but instead dropped me from the call. She went ahead with the call and talk to a Disney rep and explained the situation and surprise, surprise! Disney informed her that they were not responsible for the reimbursement. So she called me back and told me that she would put in a request that a reimbursement form from bookit.com be sent to us. Once we received it, we should sign it, and upon returning it, the money would be put back on our credit card.

That was last Friday. It's been a week and we have not received any reimbursement form or any kind of communication from bookit.com. We have both called and sent emails and we have not received any kind of response. So, today, I filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau. I then called the supervisor and left her a message informing that I filed the complaint. I thanked her for her efforts so far but seeing as I haven't gotten any kind of response from her or anyone from the company in a week I had to do something to resolve the problem more quickly.  I'm assuming I will get a quick response next week.  


What makes me sad is that the supervisor was actually helping us and at one point she thanked me for my patience and help with the issue. She said she had learned a lot through all this and was happy to be the one helping us. She seemed truly genuine in helping us resolve this matter and then we were dropped. I'm more disappointed now than mad. I just want our money back.


Did I tell you that in a letter we received from bookit.com with our park hopper passes it read, "At Bookit.com, the number on value that we live by is that we do not believe in customer satisfaction... we believe in customer ELATION! We want you to be so happy about planning your vacation on Bookit.com that you go out of your way to tell others about us."  Oh, I've gone out of my way to tell people about my experience! 


I'll keep you updated!

Helpful Hints #2- Pack Light

Obviously bring a new set of clothes for each day and of course a bathing suit but I packed many things for my family that I found out that I should have left or I’m extremely happy I brought.

1.Ladies, don’t bring your whole bag of make-up. Everyone is hot, sweaty, and sticky and not caring about how their make-up looks. Eye liner, mascara, and maybe concealer. Anything more than that will just sweat right off any no one cares.

2.With the first hint, ladies don’t bring all your hair items. Some mousse, a dryer if your hotel doesn’t provide one, and maybe a curling iron or straightener. It’s so hot and sticky that your hair frizzes out and ya end up just putting it up in a clip or ponytail anyway to cool off. 

3.Sunscreen is a MUST! The sun just relentlessly shines down on you. The kids were covered all week but we ran out of ours on our second to last day and we got BURNED! save yourself!

4.A good pair of broken in shoes. And bring only one or two pairs of shoes at the most. I thought I did a good job of braking in a relatively new pair of shoes and a pair of sandals before we left but by the second day I needed multiple band aids. Which brings me to the next hint

5.Bring band aids. Even if your shoes are broken in and you have no problems, kids fall and scrape things and get hurt. Just a good thing to have on hand just in case

6. Leave the toys from home at home. I mean, bring things to entertain them on the trip there, but after that, they will be so busy at the parks or getting new toys that the old ones won’t matter till you get home again. Be smart with the toys you do bring to entertain on the travel. I brought multiple toys for my 4 year-old and in the end she really only played with a new activity book I bought for the trip.

7.Bring travel size everything that you can. Either buy the travel size brand items or the empty cheap travel containers you can fill with your own stuff. But that will save space and weight in your luggage. Plus, remember that the hotels provide shampoo, conditioner, and soap so you can even leave all of those at home. 

8.A stroller. I know I said it in the last list, but this came in extremely handy. 

9. Use your carry-on bag as your bag you’d carry around the parks. We brought a backpack on the plane as our carry-on and I packed our diaper bag thinking I was going to use that at the parks. But after trying to cram the regular daily needs (diapers, wipes, wallets, phones, etc) and snacks, water, camera, sunscreen, and more the diaper bag just didn’t have enough room. Save yourself the space. And I personally recommend using a backpack if you have kids and not a sling or shoulder bag. There is a lot of standing and walking and having something resting on both shoulders is so much nicer.

 10.With the last hint, again ladies, don’t bring the contents of your whole purse. I even would go as far as telling you to leave behind most of your wallet. Your ID and check/credit cards with some cash in a money purse is all you’ll really need. Lipstick, gum, cosmetics, etc. are added weight to your pack and you’ll never get around to using them. Just bring the most basic needs. 

I'm sure I could think up some more and if I think up enough than I'll add a new segment on but I learned that these are the most helpful hints I can give you if you Ever go to Disneyland or Disney World.