Mothers and Friends

Sorry, I've been working on this post for about a week now. The hardest part was getting the link that I needed to post this piece, but it's finally ready!
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I've attached a link to another blog  Motherhood Is Not For Wimps and a specific post The Safe List, And Why You're Not On It which inspired me to write this piece. (Click Here for Link!)

She writes about how as a person we call many people, other mothers, our friends, but if we're being honest with ourselves, there's only a few of those friends we would trust to watch our children.

If I had read this post before I had become a mother I would have thought that this woman was being completely dramatic and rude. How could you call someone your friend yet not trust them to watch your children!?!

But now... I agree with her. Sure, she is dramatic with her piece but there is truth behind the shock value. Since I've moved to Rock Springs, Wy, I'd say that I've made many, many friends. Many of them are moms who I respect and see quiet frequently but there only a couple that I would feel comfortable leaving my kids with.

This doesn't mean that those I would not leave my kids with I consider bad moms. Actually, most of them are quiet excellent moms. They focus a lot of their time and energy on their families and this is why I respect them. But respect and trust are 2 different things. I wish I could share some situations that have brought me to this conclusion but that would only result in hurt feelings and embarrass friends. Although, that would not be my intention.

I can tell you that the major reason why I have begun to think this way is because I have kids with severe food allergies. They are severe enough that no matter where my kids go, epi-pens are always with them. I have seen both of them have allergic reactions and it's not something I would want any of my friends to feel responsible for. It's bad enough that I scare them with instructions on how to use the epi-pens but I'd never want them to feel the guilt of letting something happen to my kids.

The truth is, this is my life and my worries. No other mother here has to worry every second of every day about their child dying from being exposed to something so small as a peanut.  It's always on my mind.  I walk into a room and have to immediately check if there is anything in there that would put their lives at risk. Other moms I know don't have to do that. They don't have to think like that, so leaving my kids with people who aren't use to instinctively thinking the same way is not an option.  I've had scares of leaving them with people who, when I pick up the kids, will tell me that they didn't realize foods (hazardous to my children's heath) had been left out. I understand that they're not use to thinking the same way but I don't think it's asking too much to be a little more alert for a couple of hours. If I don't think that they are capable of that then I can't leave my kids with that person. Nothing against these other mom's but I don't want to weigh them down more if they just can't make room for it.

But there are other reasons to not leave your kids with other parents; if they are too strict or relaxed with their own kids, too verbal about their home situations, you don't like the messiness of their house, you're worried about germs and other ways your child could get sick at their house, the kinds of foods they feed their kids, what the parents do for a living, what the mom's write on their blogs, and much more. It really doesn't matter!

They're your kids and it's your responsibility to keep them safe. If that means being picky about who watches your kids and why you have that right. Importantly, it's not like you're labeling other parents as unfit, and in no way are you trying to be mean, you're trying to be safe. And if we're being realistic there is a mother out there that calls you a friend, but has her reasons to not leave her kids with you. We're all doing it and none of us are trying to be mean. We're just being safe.